[Maya Kirie]

When I am in fulfillment, I am content with my existence and my mind, body and heart are in alignment – I am comfortable in my own skin.

[Maya Kirie]

I realized this after doing it about 5 times haha. I’m clearly slow.

[Maya Kirie]

 

Courage for me is not being afraid to show how I feel.

I go to therapy a lot so I have to be courageous and open up to old and new therapists.

I tend to move with caution when opening up to people and sometimes act cowardly.

I am noticing how I haven’t been consciously noticing things in my behavior patterns and writing them down.

[Maya Kirie]

And of course it decided to do the glitch ^^^

 

[Maya Kirie]

<p style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 0px 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif;”>In the first part of our Power of Self Awareness topic, we looked at awareness within ourselves.  We explored what self-awareness is, how to define it, various domains of self-awareness, and how to explore awareness within ourselves.</p>
<p style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 0px 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif;”>Please contemplate the following and share with us here what you’re experiencing, noticing, discovering or wrestling with.</p>

<ul style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 15px 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif; background-position: 0px 0px;”>
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>What do you notice triggers you emotionally? What upsets you or excites you? Experiment with drawing or painting these triggers to represent them symbolically.
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>Notice a time when your head, heart and body were not in coherence with each other, and share the example for us. Were you able to find coherence upon noticing?
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>Noticing Your Habits – Spend the next week noting the following:
<ul style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 15px 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; background-position: 0px 0px;”>
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>What habits do you have that are beneficial, and what is the benefit?
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>What habits do you have that are costing you something, and what is the cost?

[Maya Kirie]

I can’t send emojis : (

[Maya Kirie]

 
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<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>
<h3 class=”LC20lb DKV0Md” style=”font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px; padding: 5px 0px 0px; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.3; display: inline-block;”>👏</h3>

[Maya Kirie]

Roots: creativity, boarding school, overthinking, success, stubbornness, making money, 40% positivity.

Trunk: Parzival, friendships, confidence, family, kindness + empathy, self-love.

Branches: have stable financial income, start a family, find true love and not just a Casanova, find a job I enjoy, cook more often etc…

Leaves: work hard, be observant, learn over the years, do the things I love, be myself, manage my money, stay passionate about my strong subjects.

[Maya Kirie]

My main enemies of learning are as follows….

-Inability to admit I don’t know (I like to be the “smart-ass” of the situation even if I don’t know something. It makes me feel uneasy when I don’t know something and I fear judgment from my peers and teachers. Often by not admitting that I don’t know something, I miss out on getting to know of/about that said thing.)

– I should already know (Basically, I excessively self-deprecate when it comes to topics in certain subjects that are considered easy or that have been learnt by the younger population. If I don’t know these topics/pieces of information I often think to myself “What the heck Maya! You should KNOWWWW THISSSS.” Then I get angry at myself . I have that sense of false power – “Oh I know it all!” – up until I realize I’m human and actually I DON’T. Then I find myself in a state of false powerlessness when I realize someone younger than me has better edumacation or knows more. Sorry, I meant to say education.)

-Not including emotional domain (How is that humanly possible? To be quite honest, I’m not sure yet. I am extremely emotional and if I feel the slightest bit bad about doing an assignment I let that feeling get the best of me and it often ruins my workflow.)

-I HAVE NO TIME – “I must beat time!” – Meryl 2021 (Time is annoying. I often waste it though by not focusing on my priorities if I’m being 100% honest. *exasperated sigh* By wasting time I cause myself excessive anxiety.)

-Granting no authority to be taught (This is a big problem for me. I just can’t admit to the fact that I need assistance in most circumstances. I often push people away. In the end, doing this just causes tension, arguments, and lack of efficiency.)

-Living in permanent assessment without listening (Everyone is a giant mirror. I am a sore thumb. Everyone is watching me. I am being judged. I think these things and, often times, I’m so caught up in being the victim under other people’s gazes that I tune everything out. If I had been more aware of assessments vs assertions, I may have been able to listen better to others.)

[Maya Kirie]

Sorry for the glitches and random coded text^^^ I forgot to un-copy and paste the prompt. Oops! : 3

 

[Maya Kirie]

<p style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 0px 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif;”>Review your journal from the Orientation Week in the area of Assessments and Assertions?</p>
<p style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 0px 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif;”>What assessments did you notice for yourself that you’d like to shift?</p>
<p style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 0px 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif;”>In the comments below, share the following about one or two assessments you have:</p>

<ul style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 15px 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif; background-position: 0px 0px;”>
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>What is the assessment you wish to shift?
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>How is it holding you back or limiting possibilities for you?
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>Where do you think it comes from?
<li style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: disc; background-position: 0px 0px;”>What is a new story you could connect to that offers a different assessment with greater possibility?

<p style=”box-sizing: inherit; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 0px 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #5b6875; color: #5b6875; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, sans-serif;”>The assessment you choose can be in any domain of life (work, family, wellness, body image, learning, etc.). We shared some of this during our orientation week, but not everyone got to share, and this offers a written opportunity to declare a desire to shift.98</p>
 

ASSESMENTS

Permission to asses – I allow anyone and everyone to asses me – whether they are close to me or whether they are someone I’m not even acquainted with. This is holding me back because I tend to take these judgments/assessments to heart which completely destroys my self-esteem and feeling of self worth. I brought up the example of me being a supposed burden. I need to develop the self-confidence to be able to discern false assessments from factual assertions. I also desperately need to work on my self-confidence and stop allowing people to “walk all over me.” I am my own person and the granter of permission for self-assessment. From this moment on I will enjoy positive assessment and accept conductive criticism. However, once I discover myself I don’t think I will take such negative assessments so personally, especially if they aren’t true. I am quite sure this weakness comes from my childhood of verbal abuse. I grew up with “you are stupid and not good enough.” Now I must realize that I am more than enough. From my time in the mountains I can most certainly say that I feel more confident about myself as I felt true acceptance and lack of negative judgment. I think I should take this experience with me on my journey through life.

Emotions and body – I want to stop negatively assessing myself. Thinking I’m fat etc. Again, the whole “thinking I’m fat” came from someone else’s assessment. These emotional self-assessments are maligning me feel irritable and depressed frequently. When I could be outside, I’m huddled up in my room sleeping, trying not to be upset. These negative self assessments come from my mom who said I was getting fat. : ( I’m also generally just an emotional person and I’m pretty sure it’s human nature to self-deprecate. (I probably do it more than the average person.) I think if I can make myself believe that I am fine the way I am and do more things that make me happy I can distract myself from feeling bad. I also think exercise is alway a good thing. I will try not to develop an eating disorder and continue to stay in shape.

 

 

[Maya Kirie]

Clouds

White, mysterious, untamed, and free.

Graceful, permeable masses, grazing the tops of endless pine trees.

Cotton candy of the sky. Plain, yes strangely appealing.

Extending my phalanges, I ever so desperately try to grasp it, to eat it.

Similar to my goals yet seemingly impossible to reach,

I can almost taste success. That light and joyful feeling of accomplishment.

Oh, to be a fragile Blue Jay is beautiful and mystical.

Unscathed and capable of flying to reach the clouds.

– Maya Kirie

 

I am Unknown 

I am mysterious, untamed and free.

I am graceful, permeable, and an endless forest.

I am a cotton candy sky,

plain, yet strangely appealing.

I desperately try to grasp and embody my being as if an unreachable goal.

I can almost experience myself, yet feel as a fragile Blue Jay.

I am mystical, unscathed, free to move, to fly, to reach the clouds.

– Ms. Kim Marie (Poem of the Soul)

While writing my poem halfway/all the way up a mountain (I wasn’t paying that much attention to the peak’s location or if there was one), I found it interesting how I was able to relate clouds to my goals. The main message of my poem is that if I show that I am vulnerable and fragile like a Blue Jay, I will be able to connect, envision, sprout metaphorical wings/tools to aid me on my way, and be closer to achieving my life goals and dreams. Vulnerability, was an important topic in our discussions and I found myself actually feeling quite vulnerable at such a high elevation on our hike despite being surrounded by my friends and mentors. (This was probably due to it being unfamiliar territory.) Nonetheless, it was surprising. The idea for my poem originally came from me being fascinated by clouds as a child. I had always wanted to reach the clouds and catch a piece of cloud in a container/jar – similarly I’ve always wanted to achieve things in life (reach my goals). I decided to make clouds my “life goals.” Shortly after I began writing about clouds as I saw them, I saw a Colorado Blue Jay and it made me realize how I have been holding back my emotions and perhaps that is why I often have trouble reaching my goals. I wrote the line, “Oh, to be a fragile Blue Jay is beautiful and mystical” to symbolize my longing to be more vulnerable. I often shut the world out and only now, in the mountains did I truly open up to everyone. I think being honest and vulnerable was the first step on my journey of self-discovery.

[Maya Kirie]

Core belief – You can do anything you put your mind to.

How do you see yourself? Creative, intelligent, artistic, a peacemaker, athletic, funny.

How do others see you? Loud, weird, introverted and extroverted depending on certain situations, caring and empathetic, strong (in an athletic sense), depressed.

How are you when things go well? Happy, excited, and in a positive mood.

How are you when things don’t go your way? Disappointed, gloomy, and accepting (at least, I try to be.)

 

 

 

[Maya Kirie]

Right now I am working as a shelve stocker at a local Deli near my house and in a smoothie truck. It definitely is odd not being in school especially for my senior year. Baking honestly sounds like a lot of fun. I wish I did it more often. In terms of art, I’m really good with faces (cartoon and realism) I like to draw animals as well and scenery.

[Maya Kirie]

Hello!
My name is Maya Kirie. I am originally from Florida but went to boarding school in England from age 8-11. I also frequently travel to Spain over the summer as my parents own a house in Alicante. I decided to apply to Parzival in hope of discovering my true self. I would like to learn to put my strengths to good use in society and develop self confidence. I have trouble making decisions and so I think Parzival’s Navigating Extremes course will help me immensely. I am currently a senior in high school but my parents thought It would be a good idea for me to take my gap year now instead of after 12th grade so not graduating with my class and being thrown out into the world is an extreme that I must now navigate. Luckily, I am working two decently paying jobs so although I felt lost at first, I am finding my way in the world and I am glad that I could make Parzival part of my Journey! I am excited to make new friends throughout the program and inspire others with my graphic design and artwork talents. It’s going to be crazy working, swimming (I’m a competitive swimmer), and attending Parzival but I feel confident that I will benefit from the program! I am excited to meet everyone and look forward to in-person orientation in September.

[Author]

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